Bhagavadgita and its impact on my life. I studied in a VHP school. Our daily routine is mantra meditation. First thing in the morning is a mass prayer in the school grounds. The moment you get into your respective classes, its either Ekatmatha stotra or Bhakti yoga(chapter 12 of Bhagawadgita) chanting. Before we head to lunch we had to say Annapurne sadapurne shlokas. Evening mas prayer is usually vande mataram or rashtra geeta everyday. 

I didnt know back then the kind of positive impact it had on my life. My life was extremely peaceful and positive. I believe my concentration power was extremely good due to all this chanting. I was extremely good in studies, usually a 2nd rank holder in school exams but always used be a topper in public exams both in 7th grade and 10th grade :). (Dont ask me about the little bit of school politics as to why I would end up being a second rank holder but my dad was my biggest support that if I would study really hard I would always top in final public exams. That's exactly what I did. My routine in 10th grade was to get up every day at 4 AM for my studies. I did that religiously the whole year, never missed my tuitions even when I was sick but my tutor would send me back home to rest up and strictly told me not to come for few days as I usually fall sick during winter due to my allergic bronchitis. 

My routine was to get up at 4 AM, take shower, do the morning pooja and then if my dad is up either he would make coffee for both of us or I would make it and then I would study. Go to tuitions, come back and go to school and then back home and again to tuitions come back finish home work and crash by max 8:30 or 9 am. I am still like that, given a chance I can crash by 8:30 PM in the night but with this IT industry its impossible. Lol.

Coming back to the point, I started listening to Bhagwadgita a lot offlate and I feel am much better and I have started healing and have learnt to let go a lot. Mahabharata is my fav story and I have read so many times in my childhood. I have taken Mahabharata exams and scored usually a great marks like 92/100 and I have taken part in Bhagawadgita shloka competition and have won them too. We used to have these competitions in school during krishna janmashtami and the celebration used to be extremely grand in school.

That is exactly I started doing now, started listening to bhagawadgita and Mahabharata. I feel bhagawadgita is a psychological guidance book. IT feels so peaceful to listen to it. 

 Finally, I started running. I decided that its high time that I need to get the fuck out and start running. I decided no matter what I will not miss running. So far, I have been regular to running. I love running. I run because its a liberation, it releases the endorphins(which usually referred to as runner's high). The feeling post run is definitely much more optimistic. Sometimes it gives you a feeling that you can do anything(conquer the whole world). Of course, if you end up having injuries its altogether a different story in itself and you will feel why the hell did you start running in the first place. But there is satisfaction in pain.

But I have seen that it is mentally very disturbing for most runners if they cant run due to long work hours or they are going through the injury phase. To them running is an addiction.

Ok now, I have been on and off on these dating apps and matrimony apps and its sometimes just really makes me so disappointing. For a change, I came across this guy's profile sometime ago on bumble. I really dont know but his trekking pics really looked interesting. There was not much details on the profile except for the fact that he was having few trekking pics. I kind of found his profile interesting.

At least his name was available. As a woman I always do background check on guys to make sure that am not running into some security issues. So I found his Insta profile, it seemed legitimate and I pinged him. Anyways, there was no response for almost a month.After a month he sent me a request on Insta. I pinged him complimenting on his himalayan trekking pics and then again no response. Later one day he abruptly removed me from Insta. Men are freaking so confused :D and they dont know what exactly are they looking for I guess lol.

Basically, going through his profile gave me a confidence that there are fairly good guys over there and genuine ones too. I kind of almost given up that there are no good guys left right now in India and also nothing was working out personally I had plans to move back to US and grow at least on the work front and work is keeping me busy. Also, when it comes to running or any kind of external activity the infra is any day better in US. But I will continue to pursue that option but covid has made this option a literally tough one. I will try my level best on that front. My current company is moving all the roles from US to India and there are not much chances at this point but lets see.

Apparently, this month has been extremely busy again travelling with mom to Kashi, tirupathi, palamner. Also, had a great time with family. Thank God for all the strength you have given me. I feel I am healing slowly.